TFLN 📵📵📵

[formidable]

TFLN MUSELIST This is TFLN, you know how this works. This will mostly be for Lien Kha, but you can request anyone else on my muselist above. Without further ado, here are the prompts below. a) "it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body" b) "Consume your own penis you ugly freak." c) "Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!" d) "Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…" e) "Let the record show that I hate your ass." f) "You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???" g) "I need advice on ways to politely say “**** you on your way to hell" h) "Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans." i) "I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines." j) "had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN"

Comments

C

[titstetics]

[She sure liked to text at random times, didn't she?! Takahisa pauses wondering if he should reply to this or not. Well, he had nothing better to do out here... So he decides to fire back a reply.]

Hah? What kind of trip in delusionville did ya come to that conclusion?

[psychometer]

I think it's just the plethora of weird rich men I happen to meet when I'm on the go with the sleuthing and all!

[ That being said, Lien doesn't exactly scream "trophy wife." BUT YOU SEE THERE IS ALWAYS AN EXPLANATION. ]

I'm cute, perky, I laugh at everything they say like they're being funny and profound, and I'm at LEAST 20 years younger!

[titstetics]

Hah! Think there's only gonna be one type of older guy that you'll attract, Lien-chan. And I'll be happy to give ya an impression on who.

[He's certainly in the mood to be a little shit today. Then again... When isn't Takahisa causing some trouble for someone somewhere?]

Oh, Lien... My sweet darling... Your skin is soft and smooth... (*´Д`)ﾊｧﾊｧ HAAA HAAAA HAAAAAAAA FEEL MY HOT BREATH AGAINST YOUR FACE

[psychometer]

i would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.

[ Takes a shit to be one it seems ]

also, in terms of my skin, I have been taking care of it lately, thanks for noticing, I work on that

[titstetics]

The hell!? Do wolverines even EAT fingers?!

[Maybe in the comic books, but--]

And who said that I was lookin' at you?! There's plenty of other idiots with skin 'round here, y'know.

[psychometer]

So what you're saying is, you're fine with anything that has skin?

[titstetics]

OI. Weren't we talkin' bout your old man fetish or whatever bullshit case you're on this time!?

[psychometer]

[ It's called pivoting Takahisa, deal with it! ]

You didn't answer my question!!!

J.

[deduces]

[ it's a jamjar situation now, don't question it ]

Not to mention that it would be murder.

[ hello to you too, Lien. ]

"Wrong number"? Unless you're turning yourself in, of course.

[psychometer]

Listen

I don't know if you've ever gotten your ass surreptitiously grabbed, but that's gonna be my villain origin story

[ She's as colorful as ever isn't she? ]

I'm SO close to slamming the lid done on this gig though so I'll try to hold out

But if you do see a body on the news

Well

1/2

[deduces]

I have, and it's called being underestimated. Use it to your advantage.

[ Holmes??????? ]

However. Confession duly noted.

[deduces]

[ 15 minutes later: ]

Addendum: if you and your clever little eyes are in need of a second pair, I /am/ available.

[psychometer]

Well

You're starting to hole up in your room again and as we all know, Sherlock Holmes does need to be aired out every now and then

On the other hand, I'm certain that the probability of a gun and/or fistfight increases by like, 30% when I involve you

Don't ask me about the math, it's all in my head and it is infallible and correct

[deduces]

So that's a "yes, I'd like you to be there."

[psychometer]

AND you have the ever so ANNOYING habit of loosening up the knots and tying up the ends before I do and that's just terrible detective etiquette

[ But after so long, one notices she's not telling him to stay away, and her mention of etiquette when her own is just as equally as questionable as Holmes? Laughable. ]

Can you get me an iced coffee before you come over?

[deduces]

[ Being called annoying is basically a compliment by nowー when hasn't he been irritating?

The coffee, though: ] Get it yourself.

[ And, afterwards: ]

Your location?

[ He will arrive, in fact, with iced coffee. ]

[psychometer]

Make sure it has whipped cream in it!

[ And demanding and as much as she tries to get away with as much as possible, Lien will in fact pay him back for the coffee. ]

Big finance building with the ostentatious gold signage. Top floor, private suite, two bodies. Motive is two dueling mistresses of one of the higher-up board members (Mr. Ass Grabber), both found dead, and while I was able to see what took place, the POV (point of view) has been obscured so that last remaining factor is the last 'how' and 'who.'

Sound fun enough?

G, anyone!

[onoir]

[ You'd think that Diarmuid would be the last person to find this sort of thing funny, butー well. ]

The pointed end of a blade to their face may do the trick.

Who earned your ire this time, if I might ask?

[psychometer]

ahhhhhhhhhhh when did you get a phoooOOOOOnnne

well, okay

it's not too important WHO (and just to doubly confirm, this isn't bc someone was mean to Ai either in case you were planning on 10 ways of murdering them in the face)

Though now that you mention it, maybe I really should keep more than one pocket knife on my person

[onoir]

A gift, from Miss Ai. And rest assured that I would know if anyone has earned her ire.

As for your armory, you've already a famed spear in your possession. He'd be more than happy to get your point across, I wager.

[ Diarmuid, that's a horrible pun. He also has no idea he's making it. ]

[psychometer]

[ Sometimes even Diarmuid can one-up Lien and she's baffled about whether he made a joke on purpose or on accident. She'll safely choose the latter. ]

Well, generally he's too effective, but that's better than having no backup...

That being said, your advice isn't the worst either, but I like being creative with my curses

[onoir]

[ Hmm. ]

It would admittedly be more straightforward to start a fight.

[ If ANYONE doubts that he's a rowdy boy, well. That said: ]

Your creativity would result in one, I think.

[ Sometimes, everything he hears out of Lien's mouth is FIGHT ME COWARD ]

[psychometer]

Now, now

You'd be surprised how much more often people are confused
And THEN they want to fight, but in the time, the mental interference I have induced has allowed me to slip away for an easy escape!

[onoir]

[ Hmm. ]

Forgive me for asking, but how effective has this strategy been, overall?

[ Like, percentage-wise, he has a feeling that this doesn't go as well as Lien says it does??? Sus. ]

[psychometer]

Mmmmmmm
Well
I'm still alive
That counts as success

[ Ai Thao may be passing by glancing briefly at Diarmuid's texts and then looking up shaking her head before walking away. Obviously not at him, but at Lien's outrageous claims that are just logical enough to be somewhat sane. ]