TFLN 📵📵📵

[formidable]

TFLN MUSELIST This is TFLN, you know how this works. This will mostly be for Lien Kha, but you can request anyone else on my muselist above. Without further ado, here are the prompts below. a) "it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body" b) "Consume your own penis you ugly freak." c) "Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!" d) "Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…" e) "Let the record show that I hate your ass." f) "You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???" g) "I need advice on ways to politely say “**** you on your way to hell" h) "Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans." i) "I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines." j) "had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN"

Comments

[deduces]

/Does/ this financier of ours do any work at all, I wonder.

[ Three entire mistresses. (In his head: "sounds tedious".) He's briskly making his way through the city, head buzzing, sifting through minute sounds and actions with manic attention. ]

I wouldn't trust him with my taxes, let alone the city's.

[ He doesn't even pay taxes here in jamjarland, which is the point. ]

[psychometer]

Some people have incredible time management skills
So not only can they make money, but they also have the time to do crime

So if you or I ever start having a super strict schedule we adhere to 100%, we need a contingency plan against one another

[deduces]

I assure you, that day will never come.

[ Time management???? A myth. ]

I am curious, at any rate, what a contingency plan against you would entail.

[psychometer]

If you draft up something, I'll look it over to give you feedback
But it'll probably start by bribing me with something sweet to drink, let's be real

[deduces]

Right.
You wouldn't make it past a day in the villain business, then.

[psychometer]

You will find, Mr. Sherlock Holmes, that no one and I mean NO ONE
Will ever beat me in the business of Absolute Nuisance™

[deduces]

Debatable. But you do make a compelling argument.

[ wow that is rude ]

On my way up now. Is our financier still giving you trouble?

[psychometer]

He's out of the room and it's just a few policemen lingering around with me.

I'm trying to see if there's anything else I can pick up before you get here. I don't think there was a third person in the room during the initial assault, but... Mm. I guess the room smells a little weird?

[deduces]

[ Already piecing things together: alliances gone awry, potential for use of medical gas to induce some sort of unconscious state. Difficult for a third party to come into a scene of a squabble unannounced and remain unscathed, which means mistress 1 or 2 must've tried to gain some sort of advantage? Too little facts to corroborate his suspicions. ]

Very "weird".

[ The elevator pings, the policemen try to push Holmes back, and he holds up his iced coffee. ]

Don't shoveー [ oof. Trying to sidestep another policeman: ] ーas you can see, I'm...

[ Like sandpaper: ] ...With the girl. [ Hmph. ]

[psychometer]

[ Despite the protests, the policemen don't hold him back once Lien waves him over. She's squatting with one arm resting on her knees and the other is holding up a face towel, covering up her nose.

(She tries not to overdo it with her 'sight,' but it's inevitable.)

With a muffled voice, she brightly calls out to him. ]

Yay! Coffee!

[ One of the few people who can go 'YAY' around two dead bodies. GG Lien. ]

[deduces]

[ Good thing she's in the company of a manic alcoholic detective who acts more like a feral and maladjusted dog than a real person. That said: ]

Lien. [ In lieu of a greeting, he hands her her coffee. Then, he cranes forward, big eyes framing his tired face. ]

Ah.

You're bleeding. [ To the tune of: please don't make me concerned, I distinctly have no idea how to deal with that. ]

[psychometer]

Wow! You are a detective!

[ Lien helps by being completely insolent as usual. She takes the coffee and rubs her nose in one circular motion before taking a sip. Refreshed and beaming at Holmes, she points to the crime scene. ]

This is turning out to be a peculiar case since everyone was an unreliable narrator when I tried to see through their eyes. They had no idea what hit them.

[deduces]

[ Well, okay, she's taking it in stride. Thank god. A quick turn on his heels, and he picks a pocket kerchief out of the cop nearest him; the man looks taken aback, but he doesn't stop Holmes from handing the pilfered object over to Lien. ]

Human experience is often coeval with their prejudices. Strange, isn't it, that an individual can be an unreliable witness to their own murder.

[ He crouches next to one of the cold bodies. Blood? Strangulation? ]

[psychometer]

[ She accepts the handkerchief after giving it a once-over and a shrug. It's softer than a towel at any rate.

Around one of the bodies, there are in fact signs of attempted strangulation, indicated by the bruises around the neck and nail marks. It's mutual in fact. But Lien has her own conclusions. ]

They had a decent grip on one another, but the cause of death definitely wasn't strangulation. Though it certainly didn't help. I think whatever killed the both of them at the same time is harder for me to pin down though.