[ Oh god, the bumper car clowns are starting to bump into Abel's car aggressively, There's one on his left and right. Monts is going to drive and knock one of the cars to the other side in order to disrupt the group. ]
[ Goddammit! At least whatever bruises she gets from this won't last long and she wouldn't know she's getting them, but still ]
You have to drive into them, not me!!
[ God, she's gonna have to swerve so she can avoid him. She'll keep herself busy trying to bump into the clowns in the outer ring, but Abel might be on his own for a minute or until the arena is turned off. ]
[ the screech could be one of terror or frustration, maybe even pain as he's jerked forward and bangs his crunched-up legs against the stupid inside of the stupid tiny car, who knows--
either way, he's wresting around in his vehicle and leaning menacingly outside of it to gesture like a madman. ]
Would you kindly CEASE ramming into me, here?! [ he is lecturing a clown. ] Some people are trying to DRIVE, a-and you're making it extremely difficult to-- OW!! [ --the other one just bumped into him. ] M-Miss Monts, they're bullying me!! Can you believe this?!
No, it's very easy to believe that you're the type to be bullied by clowns!
[ She's having some success scattering the group but Abel is gonna have to deal with a particularly persistent rider that tries to cut him off front. ]
[ his protector, his guardian angel, his savior... Miss Monts...
Abel's only option is to try and swerve away from this loser clown, right?? he's turning his steering wheel sharply and stepping on the acceleration, but his car ends up veering awkwardly off to the left and doing a circle, ending up right where he started,
...well, whatever, no one died from playing bumper cars with clowns it's totally fine, ]
--Can you exorcise clowns?! D-do I have any holy water on me?! ...Wait, I actually do--
[ throwing CAUTION to the wind, he's whipping out the flask of holy water he keeps on his person, shockingly - what? he can be priestly when he wants to be, and who knew that holy water was so useful against the 'purple problem??' - but he almost fumbles it as the clown bumps into him again. ]
W-would you kindly STOP that?! I almost dropped this!! Miss Monts, he is bullying me again...!
[ said like: MOOOM, CAIN WON'T LET ME USE THE XBOOOOX ]
[ --ah! he's fumbling the canteen a few more times before he quickly tosses it in her direction
he throws way too far to the left, somehow. there is now one (1) canteen of holy water skittering across the bumper car floor. that definitely isn't like a banana peel in mario kart and set up for disaster for someone, nope, ]
[ she's got her work cut out for her... Monts curses under her breath and directs her bumper car towards the holy water canteen. She's a bit too late when a clown drives over it and towards her. Although the canteen is miraculously unscathed, Monts is even further away from it.
You know what, fuck this, she gets out of her car (yes you can do that) and slides across the floor to grab the holy water before getting the hell out of dodge and back to her car before the clowns run her over. ]
Get them to follow you instead!
[ Her really quick plan that she just thought up of in the heat of the moment is hopefully the priest can be some effective bait and then she'll shake and splash. That should work? HOPEFULLY??? ]
[ Monts?? MONTS?? Abel gives a noise of distress as she abandons her car to go chasing after the holy water-- no, NO, don't go into the Danger Zone!! -- but when she returns relatively unscathed (???), he's exhaling a sigh of relief. she is going to give him a heart attack one of these days (he says as if he purposely didn't yeet the fckn canteen across the gd FLOOR--) ]
--G, got it! Follow me-- wait, WHAT?!
[ well, apparently his screeching definitely worked in drawing their attentions, because more than one is now driving their little clown cars down the clown priest. he's screeching indignantly before rapidly attempting to drive away, and yes
bumping into them, instead.
at least he's keeping them in one... place...... ]
[ Finally, when a majority of the clowns chase after Abel, Monts forces open the canteen (not too difficult of a task considering her physical strength) and then when the group is close enough... ]
Alright! Take this!
[ Monts stands up from her seat, pours some holy water into her palm and thrusts it at the group of clowns. Amazingly, the ones that get hit start disintegrating. Monts is quick to repeat this a few more times until more clowns disappear and wither into their seats and the rest start to retreat.
When finally, finally, it's safe and the arena powers down so that all the cars stop moving, Monts hops out of her bumper car and over to Abel. ]
[ he's gesturing emphatically at them as she tosses the holy water in their directions, watching the satisfying sizzle as they dissolve into nothing but clown clothes in their sad little empty clown cars. tragic.
when everything is powered off and it's safe to escape the confines of their... uh, interesting... experience with bumper cars, Abel is staggering a few steps a he stretches. ]
Oh, right as rain, thanks to you~! You saved my life, Miss Monts...
[ he's gripping her hands within both of his, eyes ~shimmer~ with grateful appreciation... ]
This means I owe you some kind of life debt, so I'm going to HAVE to accompany you on your journeys from now on and find some way to save your life in return at a crucial moment, naturally~! That, or wait until you have children and save one of them in repayment. You know, like Chewbacca did for Han Solo? But I suppose that only counts if you take the novels as canon instead of the movies, 'cause I think they retconned all of that-- really tragic, as I think the expanded universe was really interesting, and Mara Jade sounded pretty attractive, if you ask me. --Didn't Luke have children too? Wait, can Jedi have kids? I kind of thought they were like priests and had to vow to celibacy or something, but then there was that interview where they started talking about how they weren't really celibate, but couldn't marry because of obligations to their duties. So does that mean there are tons of Jedi with children out of wedlock...? I understand a man might have needs, but doesn't that seem cruel--
--and then don't get me started about how the plot weaseled in that bit about Jacen and Jaina, because I really couldn't-- o-- OW!!
[ OW?? he's been chopped... but at least this serves to silence his incessant ramblings. he's releasing her hands (thankfully) to rub at his skull, making a :< face. ]
Why are you so violent?! Haven't I been through enough, nearly losing my life to a bunch of traffic-violating clowns?! Look, it isn't like I don't appreciate you saving my life, but it really won't mean much if you turn around and murder me yourself...! Honestly.
[ What she does next may seem uncharacteristic to her at least when it comes to interacting with him. Monts reaches up to cup Abel's face with both of her hands and looks right into his eyes. She doesn't look annoyed; rather she's calmed down and isn't up to being swept up in his usual antics. ]
Can you do me a favor and just take a deep breath? Just the one?
[ It's not a good thing, isn't it? That she's starting to catch on that while he is absolutely an idiot, part of it was... Well?
He's still an idiot.
Monts crosses her arms at his question. ]
I'd think we'd be getting swarmed by the whole carnival by now if that were the case. As it is, we're still standing, aren't we? Doesn't look like the other staffers give a damn.
[ She points to the other attractions where yeah, everyone else is just minding their own business.
Monts looks around to see if there's anything else worth checking out. ]
I'm not sure if I want to risk another ride if they are mad though. Or maybe they're just picking on anyone who goes on the rides. The Ferris Wheel might have been nice, but... You're like. A giant.
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[ Oh god, the bumper car clowns are starting to bump into Abel's car aggressively, There's one on his left and right. Monts is going to drive and knock one of the cars to the other side in order to disrupt the group. ]
Just keep driving! Don't worry about it!
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[ oh. oh no, he's made eye contact with the one on the left. oh no. OH NO.
abruptly realizing his predicament as he turns his head to realize there's more than one, he's now frozen like a deer in headlights.
...SAVE HIM. ]
K... keep driving WHERE, exactly?! I-it won't-- [ a suffocated noise as he tries to back up
and drives right into her, instead ]
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You have to drive into them, not me!!
[ God, she's gonna have to swerve so she can avoid him. She'll keep herself busy trying to bump into the clowns in the outer ring, but Abel might be on his own for a minute or until the arena is turned off. ]
no subject
either way, he's wresting around in his vehicle and leaning menacingly outside of it to gesture like a madman. ]
Would you kindly CEASE ramming into me, here?! [ he is lecturing a clown. ] Some people are trying to DRIVE, a-and you're making it extremely difficult to-- OW!! [ --the other one just bumped into him. ] M-Miss Monts, they're bullying me!! Can you believe this?!
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[ She's having some success scattering the group but Abel is gonna have to deal with a particularly persistent rider that tries to cut him off front. ]
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Abel's only option is to try and swerve away from this loser clown, right?? he's turning his steering wheel sharply and stepping on the acceleration, but his car ends up veering awkwardly off to the left and doing a circle, ending up right where he started,
...well, whatever, no one died from playing bumper cars with clowns it's totally fine, ]
--Can you exorcise clowns?! D-do I have any holy water on me?! ...Wait, I actually do--
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[ Wow, an actual priest-like thing? Monts stays sharp though and swerves away from another clown trying to bump into her so she can get to Abel. ]
Is throwing it on them such a good idea!?
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[ throwing CAUTION to the wind, he's whipping out the flask of holy water he keeps on his person, shockingly - what? he can be priestly when he wants to be, and who knew that holy water was so useful against the 'purple problem??' - but he almost fumbles it as the clown bumps into him again. ]
W-would you kindly STOP that?! I almost dropped this!! Miss Monts, he is bullying me again...!
[ said like: MOOOM, CAIN WON'T LET ME USE THE XBOOOOX ]
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Father Abel! Will it work if I throw it at them? Toss it over to me if you can't cast it!
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[ --ah! he's fumbling the canteen a few more times before he quickly tosses it in her direction
he throws way too far to the left, somehow. there is now one (1) canteen of holy water skittering across the bumper car floor. that definitely isn't like a banana peel in mario kart and set up for disaster for someone, nope, ]
no subject
You know what, fuck this, she gets out of her car (yes you can do that) and slides across the floor to grab the holy water before getting the hell out of dodge and back to her car before the clowns run her over. ]
Get them to follow you instead!
[ Her really quick plan that she just thought up of in the heat of the moment is hopefully the priest can be some effective bait and then she'll shake and splash. That should work? HOPEFULLY??? ]
no subject
--G, got it! Follow me-- wait, WHAT?!
[ well, apparently his screeching definitely worked in drawing their attentions, because more than one is now driving their little clown cars down the clown priest. he's screeching indignantly before rapidly attempting to drive away, and yes
bumping into them, instead.
at least he's keeping them in one... place...... ]
no subject
[ Finally, when a majority of the clowns chase after Abel, Monts forces open the canteen (not too difficult of a task considering her physical strength) and then when the group is close enough... ]
Alright! Take this!
[ Monts stands up from her seat, pours some holy water into her palm and thrusts it at the group of clowns. Amazingly, the ones that get hit start disintegrating. Monts is quick to repeat this a few more times until more clowns disappear and wither into their seats and the rest start to retreat.
When finally, finally, it's safe and the arena powers down so that all the cars stop moving, Monts hops out of her bumper car and over to Abel. ]
Are you okay? I think that's all of them.
no subject
[ he's gesturing emphatically at them as she tosses the holy water in their directions, watching the satisfying sizzle as they dissolve into nothing but clown clothes in their sad little empty clown cars. tragic.
when everything is powered off and it's safe to escape the confines of their... uh, interesting... experience with bumper cars, Abel is staggering a few steps a he stretches. ]
Oh, right as rain, thanks to you~! You saved my life, Miss Monts...
[ he's gripping her hands within both of his, eyes ~shimmer~ with grateful appreciation... ]
This means I owe you some kind of life debt, so I'm going to HAVE to accompany you on your journeys from now on and find some way to save your life in return at a crucial moment, naturally~! That, or wait until you have children and save one of them in repayment. You know, like Chewbacca did for Han Solo? But I suppose that only counts if you take the novels as canon instead of the movies, 'cause I think they retconned all of that-- really tragic, as I think the expanded universe was really interesting, and Mara Jade sounded pretty attractive, if you ask me. --Didn't Luke have children too? Wait, can Jedi have kids? I kind of thought they were like priests and had to vow to celibacy or something, but then there was that interview where they started talking about how they weren't really celibate, but couldn't marry because of obligations to their duties. So does that mean there are tons of Jedi with children out of wedlock...? I understand a man might have needs, but doesn't that seem cruel--
[ ...he is still going, ]
1/2
[ She blinks when Abel takes her hands. Monts would have tried to interrupt, but his expression was so bright and vivid, she's almost taken aback.
And then he talks.
And talks.
Keeps talking.
Wait, he knows what Star War is??
Why is he still talking, what the hell is he talking aboutβ??? ]
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The power of Christ compels you... To stop.
[ monts that's not how it works, but she'll use it anyway!! ]
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[ OW?? he's been chopped... but at least this serves to silence his incessant ramblings. he's releasing her hands (thankfully) to rub at his skull, making a :< face. ]
Why are you so violent?! Haven't I been through enough, nearly losing my life to a bunch of traffic-violating clowns?! Look, it isn't like I don't appreciate you saving my life, but it really won't mean much if you turn around and murder me yourself...! Honestly.
no subject
[ What she does next may seem uncharacteristic to her at least when it comes to interacting with him. Monts reaches up to cup Abel's face with both of her hands and looks right into his eyes. She doesn't look annoyed; rather she's calmed down and isn't up to being swept up in his usual antics. ]
Can you do me a favor and just take a deep breath? Just the one?
1/2
... ]
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holding, with his cheeks puffed out as he maintains-- she didn't say to exhale, you see, s-so-- ]
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[ Her hands pat his puffed cheeks and she sets them down to her sides just to see if he'll actually chill.
(don't think she didn't notice that initial reaction Abel) ]
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...he is indeed exhaling in a rush, before touching his chest and inhaling again. ]
--That was close... You know that thing where you think about breathing, and then you forget how to breathe without thinking about it? Terrifying~!
[ haha obfuscating stupidity, his old trusty friend...
--ANYWAY, ]
Hey-- um, you don't think those clowns will come back, do you? ...Or that the other clowns will be mad you did a clown murder?
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He's still an idiot.
Monts crosses her arms at his question. ]
I'd think we'd be getting swarmed by the whole carnival by now if that were the case. As it is, we're still standing, aren't we? Doesn't look like the other staffers give a damn.
[ She points to the other attractions where yeah, everyone else is just minding their own business.
Monts looks around to see if there's anything else worth checking out. ]
I'm not sure if I want to risk another ride if they are mad though. Or maybe they're just picking on anyone who goes on the rides. The Ferris Wheel might have been nice, but... You're like. A giant.
no subject
...oh, hm. Abel nudges at his glasses and rubs into silver hair absently as he casts a glance around the carnival. ]
What...? Well, I could put your on my shoulders if you'd like a view, Miss Monts! For free~! It's practically the same thing, right?
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Stop trying to be a weird awkward uncle, please. Or else we'll go to the haunted house attraction and I'll abandon you there.
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