sunfloras | Open Post

It's very good swordsmanship, nonetheless! And I'm impressed. It must have been challenging especially with that type of blade.

[When he asks her about her abilities, Ai seems to pause with some hesitation. And then she smiles and while it's not strained, there's a sense of it being apologetic.]

Mm hm. [She nods to confirm.]

I've gone through my own training to make sure I had control over them. It's kind of wasted on me, but... Oh, never mind. Forget I said that.

[She tries to brush her self-deprecation off and goes to take another portable lantern to light the way for them.]

[The praise comes and goes, rolls right off of him like gathered condensation. He’s heard it time and again, and it does not affect him, not really. Though perhaps there is some novelty in hearing it from someone untouched by Shinra’s constant, glorifying campaigns. If nothing else, he cannot say that Ai’s complements are not earnest or sincere.

Still, his gaze follows her back as she moves to steal another lantern.]

Why do you say it’s wasted on you? You handled yourself well enough, and with handicapped powers to boot. And you just told me that pushing aside a wave of enemies isn’t normally an issue.

[Training, too. So some kind of program exists for her and hers, as well.]

Edited 2019-12-15 14:03 (UTC)

[There's so much she could say about herself regarding her feelings about her powers and about her very existence regarding them. It doesn't seem like the time or place to spill her guts though, even if they survived an army of dolls together.]

It's just...

[Ai walks ahead, forgetting to stay behind him. Her shoulders slacken as her cheerfulness diminishes.]

I have a lot to work with, but I've had... Well, I still have trouble thinking about whether it's worth it in the end. It sounds selfish doesn't it?

[She’s wandering off, her focus thinning now that they’re out discernible danger. Sephiroth starts walking, then, catching up with long strides so that she cannot remain far ahead. Soon, his pace will overtake hers.]

It isn’t selfish to wonder if something suits you.

[And there’s much he could add to that, too. Much to say regarding his own role in Shinra, and the festering questions of how much longer he would remain, if SOLDIER is all what it once was — but these are thoughts he has shared with only one other, and not easily wrested from the cage of his mind.

So he doesn’t offer it. Instead-]

Duty is obligation. It’s either unwanted, or something to take pride in. There is no middle ground. It sounds like you’re trying to figure out on which side you stand.

You think so?

[She hasn't had anyone to clarify it that way for her before. There were sides and she hadn't chosen yet. It seems so easy, but it's still so complex and troubling.]

... Sephiroth? If you don't mind me asking, how old are you?

Twenty-one.

[He doesn’t mind answering. Oddly, not many people ask him that question.]

Why?

Oh! [Ai looks up at him in awe.]

That's younger than I thought!

[That came out more insensitive than she intended so she backtracks somewhat.]

Er, what I mean to say is that... Um. Hm. I guess you seem more mature than me. I think.

[If he was more prideful man — at least, prideful in that way — he might take offense. But he doesn’t, and a scoffing sound actually escapes his lips.]

I grew up in the military. Maybe that’s why it seems that way to you.

[And that’s not even accounting for his personality.]

I see, I see...

[Ai trails off bringing her hand to rest her chin on and nodding to herself like she's just had some grand revelation.]

I always thought that if I got older I'd gain more perspective. But even if that's true even my sister says that no matter how old you get, sometimes you don't learn anything at all. I don't know about you Sephiroth, but I think at the very least I don't want to be that kind of person when I get older.

Edited 2019-12-15 19:17 (UTC)

[It’s hard to give advice on that. Hard to know if he’s qualified; he doesn’t know her situation, and his own experiences are tapered to focus on very specific categories in conjunction with his role. Warfare, travel where each mission might take him, knowledge of magic and its most efficient application, what information he’s picked up here and there from books, from Shinra’s own files.]

...A fair goal to have. So what do you plan on doing to accomplish it?

I've actually thought about that!

[Ai brightens up and smiles at Sephiroth.]

I'm going to be brave and make more friends!

[At that, he can’t help it. He chuckles at the simplicity of her reply, a low thing that brews in his chest.]

I see. If you think that’ll clear you of your ignorance, then make it a goal.

[It must be nice to think in such plain terms. To fix one’s perception of the world by expanding one’s circle of friends. Sephiroth is a little more world weary, a little more cynical. But even he’s not so tactless to cut down a statement said with that kind of sincerity.]

[Ai is heartened by his reply and she looks ahead instead of down at her feet.]

It's something I look forward too. With how I grew up, I'm so used to people's preconceptions and following disappointments with me.

[For all she was, she isn't enough. But she couldn't let that bind her.]

But there are people who won't see me like that even after they get to know me. I have to believe that much.

What about you? Is there anyone like that for you Sephiroth?

[The answer is no, so resoundingly simple that it would reveal much about himself, about the kind of life fashioned for him. But he’s fine with it, in a way — made to adapt, made to always be separate from the rest. Special, different.

And yet a weighted pause still settles between her question and his reply.]

...My situation is different than most. I was raised by a company, not a family. Even fellow comrades on the battlefield, they—

[They cannot relate to him. Not his childhood years, the laboratory days and nights, not what he can do now. He’s lauded as a hero, as untouchable, and perhaps that manifests itself as true with enough repetition.

...What is he saying? Too much. He parses it down.]

How they see me is how I am meant to be seen. In the end, it’s one and the same.

... Hm.

[They were beginning to sound very similar in some aspects. Although Ai would refer to some people in her commune as family members (her "sister" and "Grandmother"), it wasn't a family, blood relations aside.

She wants to ask, "Does that have to be true? Is that what you want?" The esper refrains from doing so, preferring to see where this journey through the thankless labyrinth takes them.]

Well, if it means anything, so far I think you're more approachable than I initially thought. It might just be because of... [She makes a hand gesture aimed at their surroundings.]

... All this. But! I trust myself with you. You helped me back there after all even if you're rather stoic. That's probably one of your good points!

How flattering.

[Lilted with his usual dry humor, buoying itself up before he buries it again.]

But good to know, given our circumstances. Keep a level head and maybe I’ll trust you to fight without having to look over my shoulder, too.

And by the way—

[Bluntly:] Stay behind me.

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