[Any anxiety he might have felt regarding a potential crossing of paths is quick to ease as she reassures him and tucks his hair behind his ear. He smiles fondly, but any response he might have had is chased off as they find themselves interrupted by a pair of familiar faces— ones he can hardly be surprised to see here, though he does find himself a touch disappointed in their timing.]
Ah—
[Amelia is hardly the only one caught unawares. He clears his throat as he collects himself, smoothing out the lapels of his jacket just to have something to do with his hands, though color has crept into his cheeks at Blurg's rather direct comment.]
Yes, of course; wonderful to see you both. I do hope your expectations are well-exceeded— quite glad to see you both were able to make it.
[His attention is diverted by Tara's approach; it's only been a few minutes since they'd parted ways at the entrance, and he and Amelia had shared breakfast with her not long before, but he can't help noticing she looks as pleased as a cat with cream as she joins their growing cluster of colleagues.]
"Quite a crowd we're starting to assemble, isn't it? Good morning, gentlemen; I do hope we'll have a chance to catch up before the weekend is out, busy as we're sure to be."
[Upon Dr. Prescott's arrival, Amelia sidles up to the older woman's side as if it will lessen the awkwardness she feels (it doesn't). Professor Omeluum and Blurg give their greetings to their colleague and the latter cheerfully replies.]
"We'll most certainly catch up, Dr. Prescott. I think we've have plenty to discuss... Ah, well let's talk about it later."
[Omeluum lets out a low and amused hum, pretending not to notice Dr. Dekarios's colored complexion as he gives his own ambiguous remark.]
"I look forward to seeing who will buy everyone a round of drinks at the bar after the conference. In any case, good luck Dr. Dekarios. Dr. Prescott, Professor; we'll see you later."
[The couple leaves chatting about the location of their first seminar and when they're out of sight, Amelia sighs and turns to Tara and Gale.]
Is it just me, or were they speaking circles around something?
[That's how you know they're being obvious. Gale's gaze narrows slightly as he watches the other pair of professors head off on their own, then returns his gaze to his guest, his smile a touch crooked.]
They did seem to be, didn't they? Not unusual for them, mind you, but it did seem to be on another level this time.
[He has his Suspicions. Tara, meanwhile, stifles a soft laugh before she invites herself to hook her arm through Amelia's, linking their elbows.]
"I'm certain we'll find out sooner rather than later. In the meantime, I think it's about time for me to steal Professor Steinbeck away, Gale— I believe you're needed elsewhere, not to mention preparation."
[Gale exhales with a genuine smile, bowing his head slightly.]
You're quite right. [He fixes his gaze on Amelia, fond.] I promise, you are in the best of hands. I do hope you two enjoy yourselves.
[Gale smiles warmly even as he's waved off, scarcely managing to repress the urge to lean in and brush his lips against her cheek despite the fact that they're in a public, professional setting— given how long it took for them to be open with themselves, he imagines the oft-talked-about "honeymoon phase" might last a good while, but he opts for clasping his hands together and giving the both of them a nod of appreciation before he turns and heads to where he's expected.
Once the two of them are alone, Tara gives the younger professor a knowing smile, inclining her head towards a nearby refreshment area so that they might help themselves to coffee or whatever else might appeal.]
You want to see him do well, I imagine— I think he's more nervous than he'd like to let on, so I expect that means a lot to him. I don't think he's as keen to boast about it as he once was, so he may not have said so plainly, but he's really quite famous in his field.
[It had made some recent challenges that much more threatening, unfortunately.]
[She lets Tara lead them to the refreshments, having her eye on the special canned drinks (sparkling water and kombucha, very nice, very refreshing and nice of this conference to shell out for).]
He's alluded to that; the boastfulness I mean. I think I can imagine it, but that's neither here nor there.
[Who he was before had later been shaped into the man he was now and that's all that matters. When they get to the table, Amelia lets go of Dr. Prescott, grabbing a limoncello sparkling water and offering it to her first.]
I'm not in the know of the sciences, much less his field, but I know how hard he works and the depth of his work based on what I saw of his notes. There's plenty of brilliant people, but he's especially up there isn't he?
[Tara takes the offered beverage with a warm smile and a nod of thanks, gratefully taking it between both hands.]
While I'll admit to being a touch biased, I would say so. He made a name for himself in the field at a startlingly young age, which is part of what earned him his acclaim— he made the first documented discovery of the Karsus Nebula and proceeded to lead an expansive study on it in the years that followed.
[That they both know how hard he works means she does not have to spell out all that implies; that study has been his life for those years, and even after all that has happened, he remains proud of the work he had done.
Her smile falters slightly, just for a moment.]
Not too long ago, his former advisor took an opportunity to try and claim more credit for his work than she was due, bringing the validity of his work into question. I don't know that it's enough to be considered a legitimate threat, but it's just questionable enough that he was convinced this opportunity with the conference was going to be revoked.
[How much of that Gale might have shared with Professor Steinbeck before now, she doesn't know, but if he hasn't, she thinks someone ought to.]
[Amelia helps herself to a can of grapefruit sparkling water, cracking it open as she listens to Tara's continued explanation. It's not difficult to imagine a younger Gale, bold and ambitious, and basking in the celebrity of his discovery.]
I understand. Also, the uncertainty doesn't help when it comes at a time when tenure is in consideration.
[She takes a sip of her drink, enjoying the floral and fruity aroma.]
But he's here now. I think the attempts to shake his confidence are underhanded and not to mention, sorely underestimating him.
[Dr. Manx may have been involved and her input may have played a part in Gale's work, but the past few months alone has shown Amelia that he managed to stand on his own two feet without her directly involved in life.]
Dr. Prescott, you've always believed in him, haven't you? You've known him longer than I have.
You know, I think you're quite right. I think I know exactly who to thank for his renewed perseverance, as well.
[She laughs softly, the warmth of her smile softening her otherwise severe face. Amelia certainly has the right of the situation.]
I'm sure my bias makes it quite obvious, but I have. He's never given me any reason to do anything less, though these past few years, I admit to having been worried. I don't have much in the way of family, which only makes seeing the family you've chosen for yourself going through what he did all the more difficult. These past months, however...
[She shakes her head slightly, her smile pulling higher on one side.]
I have to say, he is more like himself than I've seen him in years. It does the heart good to see him returning to himself.
[Her last remark makes the young professor pause. Tara, having known him longer, has seen Gale at his highest and lowest. When she thinks about the past few weeks... Well, there's a feeling of shame, knowing that she was a cause of unhappiness even if they've more than made up for it.]
... I hope that it doesn't seem too sudden. The both of us, I mean.
[Not that she hasn't kept in mind that Dr. Prescott and Berna were probably on the sidelines and had more foresight than her. Still, Amelia does feel like she took a huge and reckless leap and it doesn't necessarily reflect well on her.]
I wasn't my best towards him in the past month. That probably wasn't easy to see how that affected him on your end.
[For a moment, Tara looks almost perplexed, as though she doesn't quite understand Amelia's concern, but after a beat she begins to laugh, covering her mouth with one hand to contain it before she collects herself, clearing her throat.]
Sudden. My dear, I'm afraid the only people who think this might be sudden are the two of you.
[There's an impish merriment in her eyes that isn't unlike when Gale himself turns playful and mischievous, and in that moment, perhaps it's even easier to see why doctors Prescott and Dekarios get along so well.]
By the time he admitted anything to me— and himself, mind you— I'd already known for ages.
[Her smile becomes a touch more subdued as she takes Amelia's other remark into consideration; her gaze is serious but kind.]
These things are hardly ever as simple as we might like. I've not asked him the finer details; while I'll confess to meddling here and there, I do realize that some things are none of my business. Only know that you are not the only one to have doubts about such matters— perhaps just the first to show it, in this situation.
[Her gaze does move, briefly, in the direction Gale had headed a few minutes earlier, and the feeling writ on her face is clear: worry, though it doesn't appear to be directed at Amelia herself.]
[Amelia's face reddens in response to Tara's laughter and she proceeds to hide it by taking a large swig of her drink.]
I can't be that easy to read.
[Sometimes she is though; there was a difference between being unreadable and simply keeping people at arm's length, as Berna had told her before.
Her eyes track Dr. Prescott looking in Gale's direction. Until he was done with his presentation, the both of them are probably having the sensation sit in their gut. There was something else that was bothering her, something that she thinks that Tara would have more insight on.]
... I was wondering, if you don't mind me askingโ [Amelia grips her can, bracing herself and finding her words carefully.]
He told me about the circumstances between him and his advisor. What I'm trying to ask is if you have any idea if she valued the professional work more than the relationship between them? Or was it in reverse?
[It would be a lie to say there wasn't a sting, knowing how important Ariel Manx was to Gale back then, but Amelia wanted to know if there was actual affection or her protege was a means to an end. The younger professor wasn't looking to sympathize or an excuse for her, but to just understand.]
Well— not just you, of course, it was the pair of you together that made it most obvious to me, but I do consider myself to be something of a student of the human animal. I'd like to think I read people well, much of the time.
[There's warmth and teasing in her voice, thinly-veiled, and she does Amelia the favor of not pointing out the blush creeping into her cheeks. She's sure the younger professor is already well aware.
Both her knack for reading people and her close proximity to Gale, of course, make her the perfect person to ask such a question of. She presses her lips together thoughtfully, considering her words. It's something she's thought about on her own, as well; a question she couldn't help but ask herself. Gale, she's sure, has asked himself the same, and likely doesn't want the answer.]
It's complicated, I'm afraid— or perhaps not so easily defined. For his sake, I want to believe that the affection was genuine, at least to start. I admit to being biased, but he's quite easy to love.
[It would break her heart, otherwise, to think of her fine fellow being strung along all those years for nothing at all. It had ended a mess, and they had been all wrong for one another in addition to the circumstances of their relationship having been inappropriate on multiple levels. If he could look back at that time in his life and find even just one single moment worth remembering, she thinks it would have been better than for all of it to have been a lie.]
She considered his successes to be her own, I imagine, as mentors often do with their proteges. I think whatever else she might have felt, that was bound to get in the way. To be honest, outside of a professional capacity, I can't say I ever cared for her much— I imagine that doesn't come as a surprise. Gale, of course, always sees the best in people. It is one of his finer points, but also to his detriment, at times.
[It's always complicated; Amelia had thought her circumstances were rather skewed, but it was nothing compared to Gale and Ariel's case. She's silent for a few seconds, taking another sip of her drink before replying.]
The way I've thought about it, is that if there were true common ground between them, she would have found it in herself to compromise and overcome obvious obstacles. He would have been more than willing.
[But that didn't happen and couldn't happen, not with the level of unprofessionalism that came attached with it.]
I'll be blunt here; outside of the intent to attribute his success to her own, I find everything else incomprehensible.
[There's that matter of being secretly married the apparent allowance of one party to have an affair with an unwilling participant. She knows that there are different types of relationships, but Amelia always boils down anything meaningful to have a strong degree of honesty and resolve. Any benefit of the doubt she had given Dr. Manx (none of them seem to know what the dynamics of her marriage are like to lead her to an affair), stopped there.]
I think at this point, I know what I am. [With her drink finished, she crushes the can in one palm, sighing.]
As much as I hate to admit it, I've hurt people because I was angry with them.
[Angry with Briar because he was dying and couldn't do anything about leaving her. Angry with Gale because it felt like he was trying to ease into her graces while she was emotionally vulnerable.]
But I don't think I could hurt someone just to get ahead.
[Dr. Prescott listens intently as she sips her own drink, thoughtful gaze fixed on Amelia. The younger woman had given this a lot of thought— as to be expected, she supposes, given her own feelings regarding Gale.
She sighs softly, shaking her head, because there isn't much there she can or wants to disagree with.]
We've all been angry and hurt people we care about, unintentionally or otherwise; that's only human. It's one thing to be angry, another entirely to be so intent on controlling another person that you whittle away at their self-confidence to keep them in your grasp.
[She meets Amelia's gaze then, her own serious now that she's spoken the truth aloud, something Gale himself still struggles to admit.]
He sees it now, but no one ever does when they're caught in the middle of such a situation, no matter what those on the outside might tell them. I hope you don't think my saying so plainly is too forward— it does seem the sort of thing you ought to know, and I don't believe Gale is self-aware enough about the damage that was done to tell you himself. For what it's worth—
[She smiles again, her voice warming considerably.]
I never once heard him talk about her the way he talks about you.
[There's some much needed clarity in how she lays out the difference between Amelia and Dr. Manx. It never ceases to amaze the younger woman in how she may have much to say until words are lost on her when dealing with the unknown.]
... That makes it very clear for me. Thank you, Dr. Prescott.
[Before everything that had occurred, Amelia had questioned why Gale had given her such reverence that went way beyond what they physically shared. Maybe what she had represented, wasn't a pure ideal, or an escape. With her, there were possibilities and a stark differences that he probably didn't consider before having been so involved with someone who held great sway over him.
It's daunting, but they're both moving forward together.]
Tara's last remark makes Amelia cast her gaze to her feet, trying to hide her scrunched up face.]
I'm afraid to ask about what he's said. He's embarrassing enough as it is when we talk with one another.
[I think we've been over the top the past two days, Amelia thinks mostly making the jab at herself for getting carried away and into Gale's pace. She'll keep that part to herself though, what happens in the Airbnb, stays in the Airbnb.
Speaking of.]
... Did you find the listing for my parent's Airbnb by chance?
[Tara doesn't even feign surprise at being caught, the corners of her lips quirking into a knowing smile.]
I'm afraid so— quite by accident, to start. I did think I remembered you mentioning your family had property in the area during one of our breakfasts, but I didn't seek it out intentionally. Once I realized, however, I confess to having thought going there and perhaps dropping that bit of trivia might give me an opportunity to prod Gale into actually talking about what was on his mind.
[He would have been furious, she's sure of it, but even that would have been preferable to the way he had shut down for the weeks beforehand. Anything, to keep him from shutting himself away again— but this was different than the last time, she had come to realize.]
I certainly didn't expect that we would see you, but I'm inclined to believe that things worked out as they ought.
[She looks very pleased with herself, in fact.]
It was genuinely the most appealing property I looked at, however.
[So it was all mostly coincidental and the dice really just fell where they wanted to. Amelia's forehead scrunches up dubiously at first, but smoothes over when Tara delivers her clarification.]
Well, I've no complaints. It's not like you controlled the weather or knew about the appliances malfunctioning.
[And at that last remark, the corner of her lips twitches into an almost-smile.]
My parents would be happy to hear that, especially my mother. She took care of the interior design.
[And she'll remind Tara or Gale to leave a good review. Speaking of...]
... And if possible, if we could both just... You know. [Gestures with one hand.]
[Tara gives a firm shake of her head in response, laying a single finger over her lips. Amelia's secret is safe with her, if there were any doubt.]
Oh, we'll not even mention your name. That's nobody's business but yours, dear.
[Though there is a familiar twinkle of mischief in the older woman's eyes; it's hard not to be amused by the way things had come together, especially the way she's watched these two dance around one another for the entire semester, determined to ignore what she was certain everyone else could see.]
I think Gale ought to be leaving a glowing review, personally— your family need know nothing more than their guest had a lovely stay.
[From this point on, she will trust Dr. Tara Prescott with her life.]
Shall we go around and peruse the tables? I'm interested in what sort of freebies a science-focused convention are given out. We can circle back to Gale's program that way.
[Congratulations, Amelia— Gale's ride-or-die has become your ride-or-die, as well.
Tara leaves much of what she could say regarding the situation unsaid; even all she had to offer was effusive support and appreciation, it feels a bit much after all she's already aired, and so she nods in agreement, her smile one of understanding as well as anticipation— the conference is a highlight of her year as well, after all.]
Oh, let's— this one is often especially generous, I've found, and I confess I'm interested in seeing how a literary academic fares when thrown into our end of the pool.
[Oh, Professor Steinbeck will do more than well enough for herself, she's sure, but she has to have some fun.
As she stands and smooths out the front of her blouse and jacket, she does pause to add one more thing that she thinks ought not to be left unsaid, just in case it weren't clear enough already.]
I do hope you know— I've not seen him this happy in years. I don't just mean this morning, either. I think your friendship has done a great deal more for him than even he realizes. He's more like himself than I've seen him in a long, long time.
[He's beyond smitten, yes, but it's more than that; it's as though he's been reminded of all the things in life that he once loved and had let fall by the wayside when he was living it for someone else, instead of for himself, before he had forgotten who he was outside of being a 'prodigy.']
[Though she usually hates showing weakness, if it's an academic pursuit she usually isn't part of, Professor Steinbeck yields rather easily.]
I will politely nod when I hear scientific jargon with root meanings I can glean, but you'll be able to tell I'm hopelessly lost in the literature of the sciences themselves.
[It's Tara's statement regarding Gale's happiness that gives Amelia pause. She doesn't doubt it, not at this point, but her heart does squeeze at the truth of it.
Briar's parents had assured her that she had made their son happy, through the good times and the bad. It's only recently, that Amelia reluctantly believed this to be true. His illness and how she had handled it had caused a rift and after he passed away, Amelia found herself spiraling, convinced she was never a good friend and that her fiery and selfish love demanded too much of Briar.
She looked at herself in the mirror and saw a wretch who loved destructively and ran away at the backlash and the inconvenience of it all.
But Briar's art let her know that through his eyes this wasn't all there was to her. And now when she gazes into Gale's eyes, it isn't a blind adoration, but a clear conviction that she truly is something, someone who can make someone happy.
Amelia looks at her feet, taking a deep breath before replying.]
I've always had trouble... When it comes to how I'm perceived. I believe you though.
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sunfloras2024-01-21 09:17 pm
no subject
[Startled, Amelia turns to see Professor Blurg and Omeluum wander up to the pair. The latter nods his head in greeting and acknowledgement at Gale.]
"Dr. Dekarios. A pleasure to see you and we look forward to your presentation. Professor Steinbeck, were you invited by him?"
[Poor Amelia, caught unawares... But she puts up a good front and nods, clasping her hands in front of her and staying next to Gale.]
Yes. You're right. It's good to see you both, isn't it, Gโ... Dr. Dekarios?
no subject
Ah—
[Amelia is hardly the only one caught unawares. He clears his throat as he collects himself, smoothing out the lapels of his jacket just to have something to do with his hands, though color has crept into his cheeks at Blurg's rather direct comment.]
Yes, of course; wonderful to see you both. I do hope your expectations are well-exceeded— quite glad to see you both were able to make it.
[His attention is diverted by Tara's approach; it's only been a few minutes since they'd parted ways at the entrance, and he and Amelia had shared breakfast with her not long before, but he can't help noticing she looks as pleased as a cat with cream as she joins their growing cluster of colleagues.]
"Quite a crowd we're starting to assemble, isn't it? Good morning, gentlemen; I do hope we'll have a chance to catch up before the weekend is out, busy as we're sure to be."
slamdunks september
"We'll most certainly catch up, Dr. Prescott. I think we've have plenty to discuss... Ah, well let's talk about it later."
[Omeluum lets out a low and amused hum, pretending not to notice Dr. Dekarios's colored complexion as he gives his own ambiguous remark.]
"I look forward to seeing who will buy everyone a round of drinks at the bar after the conference. In any case, good luck Dr. Dekarios. Dr. Prescott, Professor; we'll see you later."
[The couple leaves chatting about the location of their first seminar and when they're out of sight, Amelia sighs and turns to Tara and Gale.]
Is it just me, or were they speaking circles around something?
[damn even she senses something is afoot]
no subject
They did seem to be, didn't they? Not unusual for them, mind you, but it did seem to be on another level this time.
[He has his Suspicions. Tara, meanwhile, stifles a soft laugh before she invites herself to hook her arm through Amelia's, linking their elbows.]
"I'm certain we'll find out sooner rather than later. In the meantime, I think it's about time for me to steal Professor Steinbeck away, Gale— I believe you're needed elsewhere, not to mention preparation."
[Gale exhales with a genuine smile, bowing his head slightly.]
You're quite right. [He fixes his gaze on Amelia, fond.] I promise, you are in the best of hands. I do hope you two enjoy yourselves.
no subject
[She allows Tara to link their elbows together and with her free hand, waves Gale off.]
Good luck. See you when the time comes.
[And so when they step away in the opposite direction and Gale is far enough away, Amelia lets out a huff of breath before addressing Dr. Prescott.]
It's strange. I'm not the one making the big presentation, but I feel nervous.
pretend this is human Tara lol
Once the two of them are alone, Tara gives the younger professor a knowing smile, inclining her head towards a nearby refreshment area so that they might help themselves to coffee or whatever else might appeal.]
You want to see him do well, I imagine— I think he's more nervous than he'd like to let on, so I expect that means a lot to him. I don't think he's as keen to boast about it as he once was, so he may not have said so plainly, but he's really quite famous in his field.
[It had made some recent challenges that much more threatening, unfortunately.]
no subject
He's alluded to that; the boastfulness I mean. I think I can imagine it, but that's neither here nor there.
[Who he was before had later been shaped into the man he was now and that's all that matters. When they get to the table, Amelia lets go of Dr. Prescott, grabbing a limoncello sparkling water and offering it to her first.]
I'm not in the know of the sciences, much less his field, but I know how hard he works and the depth of his work based on what I saw of his notes. There's plenty of brilliant people, but he's especially up there isn't he?
no subject
While I'll admit to being a touch biased, I would say so. He made a name for himself in the field at a startlingly young age, which is part of what earned him his acclaim— he made the first documented discovery of the Karsus Nebula and proceeded to lead an expansive study on it in the years that followed.
[That they both know how hard he works means she does not have to spell out all that implies; that study has been his life for those years, and even after all that has happened, he remains proud of the work he had done.
Her smile falters slightly, just for a moment.]
Not too long ago, his former advisor took an opportunity to try and claim more credit for his work than she was due, bringing the validity of his work into question. I don't know that it's enough to be considered a legitimate threat, but it's just questionable enough that he was convinced this opportunity with the conference was going to be revoked.
[How much of that Gale might have shared with Professor Steinbeck before now, she doesn't know, but if he hasn't, she thinks someone ought to.]
no subject
I understand. Also, the uncertainty doesn't help when it comes at a time when tenure is in consideration.
[She takes a sip of her drink, enjoying the floral and fruity aroma.]
But he's here now. I think the attempts to shake his confidence are underhanded and not to mention, sorely underestimating him.
[Dr. Manx may have been involved and her input may have played a part in Gale's work, but the past few months alone has shown Amelia that he managed to stand on his own two feet without her directly involved in life.]
Dr. Prescott, you've always believed in him, haven't you? You've known him longer than I have.
no subject
[She laughs softly, the warmth of her smile softening her otherwise severe face. Amelia certainly has the right of the situation.]
I'm sure my bias makes it quite obvious, but I have. He's never given me any reason to do anything less, though these past few years, I admit to having been worried. I don't have much in the way of family, which only makes seeing the family you've chosen for yourself going through what he did all the more difficult. These past months, however...
[She shakes her head slightly, her smile pulling higher on one side.]
I have to say, he is more like himself than I've seen him in years. It does the heart good to see him returning to himself.
no subject
... I hope that it doesn't seem too sudden. The both of us, I mean.
[Not that she hasn't kept in mind that Dr. Prescott and Berna were probably on the sidelines and had more foresight than her. Still, Amelia does feel like she took a huge and reckless leap and it doesn't necessarily reflect well on her.]
I wasn't my best towards him in the past month. That probably wasn't easy to see how that affected him on your end.
no subject
Sudden. My dear, I'm afraid the only people who think this might be sudden are the two of you.
[There's an impish merriment in her eyes that isn't unlike when Gale himself turns playful and mischievous, and in that moment, perhaps it's even easier to see why doctors Prescott and Dekarios get along so well.]
By the time he admitted anything to me— and himself, mind you— I'd already known for ages.
[Her smile becomes a touch more subdued as she takes Amelia's other remark into consideration; her gaze is serious but kind.]
These things are hardly ever as simple as we might like. I've not asked him the finer details; while I'll confess to meddling here and there, I do realize that some things are none of my business. Only know that you are not the only one to have doubts about such matters— perhaps just the first to show it, in this situation.
[Her gaze does move, briefly, in the direction Gale had headed a few minutes earlier, and the feeling writ on her face is clear: worry, though it doesn't appear to be directed at Amelia herself.]
no subject
I can't be that easy to read.
[Sometimes she is though; there was a difference between being unreadable and simply keeping people at arm's length, as Berna had told her before.
Her eyes track Dr. Prescott looking in Gale's direction. Until he was done with his presentation, the both of them are probably having the sensation sit in their gut. There was something else that was bothering her, something that she thinks that Tara would have more insight on.]
... I was wondering, if you don't mind me askingโ [Amelia grips her can, bracing herself and finding her words carefully.]
He told me about the circumstances between him and his advisor. What I'm trying to ask is if you have any idea if she valued the professional work more than the relationship between them? Or was it in reverse?
[It would be a lie to say there wasn't a sting, knowing how important Ariel Manx was to Gale back then, but Amelia wanted to know if there was actual affection or her protege was a means to an end. The younger professor wasn't looking to sympathize or an excuse for her, but to just understand.]
no subject
[There's warmth and teasing in her voice, thinly-veiled, and she does Amelia the favor of not pointing out the blush creeping into her cheeks. She's sure the younger professor is already well aware.
Both her knack for reading people and her close proximity to Gale, of course, make her the perfect person to ask such a question of. She presses her lips together thoughtfully, considering her words. It's something she's thought about on her own, as well; a question she couldn't help but ask herself. Gale, she's sure, has asked himself the same, and likely doesn't want the answer.]
It's complicated, I'm afraid— or perhaps not so easily defined. For his sake, I want to believe that the affection was genuine, at least to start. I admit to being biased, but he's quite easy to love.
[It would break her heart, otherwise, to think of her fine fellow being strung along all those years for nothing at all. It had ended a mess, and they had been all wrong for one another in addition to the circumstances of their relationship having been inappropriate on multiple levels. If he could look back at that time in his life and find even just one single moment worth remembering, she thinks it would have been better than for all of it to have been a lie.]
She considered his successes to be her own, I imagine, as mentors often do with their proteges. I think whatever else she might have felt, that was bound to get in the way. To be honest, outside of a professional capacity, I can't say I ever cared for her much— I imagine that doesn't come as a surprise. Gale, of course, always sees the best in people. It is one of his finer points, but also to his detriment, at times.
no subject
The way I've thought about it, is that if there were true common ground between them, she would have found it in herself to compromise and overcome obvious obstacles. He would have been more than willing.
[But that didn't happen and couldn't happen, not with the level of unprofessionalism that came attached with it.]
I'll be blunt here; outside of the intent to attribute his success to her own, I find everything else incomprehensible.
[There's that matter of being secretly married the apparent allowance of one party to have an affair with an unwilling participant. She knows that there are different types of relationships, but Amelia always boils down anything meaningful to have a strong degree of honesty and resolve. Any benefit of the doubt she had given Dr. Manx (none of them seem to know what the dynamics of her marriage are like to lead her to an affair), stopped there.]
I think at this point, I know what I am. [With her drink finished, she crushes the can in one palm, sighing.]
As much as I hate to admit it, I've hurt people because I was angry with them.
[Angry with Briar because he was dying and couldn't do anything about leaving her. Angry with Gale because it felt like he was trying to ease into her graces while she was emotionally vulnerable.]
But I don't think I could hurt someone just to get ahead.
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She sighs softly, shaking her head, because there isn't much there she can or wants to disagree with.]
We've all been angry and hurt people we care about, unintentionally or otherwise; that's only human. It's one thing to be angry, another entirely to be so intent on controlling another person that you whittle away at their self-confidence to keep them in your grasp.
[She meets Amelia's gaze then, her own serious now that she's spoken the truth aloud, something Gale himself still struggles to admit.]
He sees it now, but no one ever does when they're caught in the middle of such a situation, no matter what those on the outside might tell them. I hope you don't think my saying so plainly is too forward— it does seem the sort of thing you ought to know, and I don't believe Gale is self-aware enough about the damage that was done to tell you himself. For what it's worth—
[She smiles again, her voice warming considerably.]
I never once heard him talk about her the way he talks about you.
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... That makes it very clear for me. Thank you, Dr. Prescott.
[Before everything that had occurred, Amelia had questioned why Gale had given her such reverence that went way beyond what they physically shared. Maybe what she had represented, wasn't a pure ideal, or an escape. With her, there were possibilities and a stark differences that he probably didn't consider before having been so involved with someone who held great sway over him.
It's daunting, but they're both moving forward together.]
Tara's last remark makes Amelia cast her gaze to her feet, trying to hide her scrunched up face.]
I'm afraid to ask about what he's said. He's embarrassing enough as it is when we talk with one another.
[tara he's so much HELP]
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Nothing you need worry about, I assure you— though I think I have an idea of what you mean. He doesn't do anything by halves, does he?
[He never has, that she can recall; Gale has always done everything he feels is worth doing with his entire self.]
He's had nothing but lovely things to say, but I think he might just be saving those over-the-top bits for you.
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Speaking of.]
... Did you find the listing for my parent's Airbnb by chance?
[She plays it off casually, but you know]
I just had to wonder.
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I'm afraid so— quite by accident, to start. I did think I remembered you mentioning your family had property in the area during one of our breakfasts, but I didn't seek it out intentionally. Once I realized, however, I confess to having thought going there and perhaps dropping that bit of trivia might give me an opportunity to prod Gale into actually talking about what was on his mind.
[He would have been furious, she's sure of it, but even that would have been preferable to the way he had shut down for the weeks beforehand. Anything, to keep him from shutting himself away again— but this was different than the last time, she had come to realize.]
I certainly didn't expect that we would see you, but I'm inclined to believe that things worked out as they ought.
[She looks very pleased with herself, in fact.]
It was genuinely the most appealing property I looked at, however.
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Well, I've no complaints. It's not like you controlled the weather or knew about the appliances malfunctioning.
[And at that last remark, the corner of her lips twitches into an almost-smile.]
My parents would be happy to hear that, especially my mother. She took care of the interior design.
[And she'll remind Tara or Gale to leave a good review. Speaking of...]
... And if possible, if we could both just... You know. [Gestures with one hand.]
Not mention I was there the whole weekend.
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Oh, we'll not even mention your name. That's nobody's business but yours, dear.
[Though there is a familiar twinkle of mischief in the older woman's eyes; it's hard not to be amused by the way things had come together, especially the way she's watched these two dance around one another for the entire semester, determined to ignore what she was certain everyone else could see.]
I think Gale ought to be leaving a glowing review, personally— your family need know nothing more than their guest had a lovely stay.
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[From this point on, she will trust Dr. Tara Prescott with her life.]
Shall we go around and peruse the tables? I'm interested in what sort of freebies a science-focused convention are given out. We can circle back to Gale's program that way.
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Tara leaves much of what she could say regarding the situation unsaid; even all she had to offer was effusive support and appreciation, it feels a bit much after all she's already aired, and so she nods in agreement, her smile one of understanding as well as anticipation— the conference is a highlight of her year as well, after all.]
Oh, let's— this one is often especially generous, I've found, and I confess I'm interested in seeing how a literary academic fares when thrown into our end of the pool.
[Oh, Professor Steinbeck will do more than well enough for herself, she's sure, but she has to have some fun.
As she stands and smooths out the front of her blouse and jacket, she does pause to add one more thing that she thinks ought not to be left unsaid, just in case it weren't clear enough already.]
I do hope you know— I've not seen him this happy in years. I don't just mean this morning, either. I think your friendship has done a great deal more for him than even he realizes. He's more like himself than I've seen him in a long, long time.
[He's beyond smitten, yes, but it's more than that; it's as though he's been reminded of all the things in life that he once loved and had let fall by the wayside when he was living it for someone else, instead of for himself, before he had forgotten who he was outside of being a 'prodigy.']
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I will politely nod when I hear scientific jargon with root meanings I can glean, but you'll be able to tell I'm hopelessly lost in the literature of the sciences themselves.
[It's Tara's statement regarding Gale's happiness that gives Amelia pause. She doesn't doubt it, not at this point, but her heart does squeeze at the truth of it.
Briar's parents had assured her that she had made their son happy, through the good times and the bad. It's only recently, that Amelia reluctantly believed this to be true. His illness and how she had handled it had caused a rift and after he passed away, Amelia found herself spiraling, convinced she was never a good friend and that her fiery and selfish love demanded too much of Briar.
She looked at herself in the mirror and saw a wretch who loved destructively and ran away at the backlash and the inconvenience of it all.
But Briar's art let her know that through his eyes this wasn't all there was to her. And now when she gazes into Gale's eyes, it isn't a blind adoration, but a clear conviction that she truly is something, someone who can make someone happy.
Amelia looks at her feet, taking a deep breath before replying.]
I've always had trouble... When it comes to how I'm perceived. I believe you though.
[She looks up to give a small smile at Tara.]
I like it when he's happy.
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a time skip
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crawls back from the ayto mines