[The stupid emotional part of herself wishes that it was just physical attraction. That sort of thing was easy to scoff at and dismiss away, but Gale wasn't someone she wanted to do that to. God, she hated how sincere he was sometimes and how it felt like she couldn't live up to what he saw in her, whatever it was. His kindness made her want to open it and it did and now look where it's gotten them.
As they spent their time with one another at the university, the rhythm of and routine kept her from second guessing that this was anything more than friendship. And yet, when they're engrossed in their work, mentally straining themselves to reach newer heights of knowledge and scholarly vigor, at the end of the day, she appreciated and anticipated those smaller moments of rest they found with each other. It almost made her mind wander to "what if" until she immediately stamped out the idea.
Amelia didn't allow herself to think about "what if" with him because Gale was good, too good to her after everything.
She wraps her arms around herself and moves to the doorway that leads to the living room.]
I don't want to deal with whatever this is, not after you saw me like that.
[It keeps happening; she says she regrets hurting the people she cares for, but she's doing it right now. Obstinate, contradictory, stubborn—]
I'm sorry, but I don't have an answer to whatever you're asking—
no subject
[The stupid emotional part of herself wishes that it was just physical attraction. That sort of thing was easy to scoff at and dismiss away, but Gale wasn't someone she wanted to do that to. God, she hated how sincere he was sometimes and how it felt like she couldn't live up to what he saw in her, whatever it was. His kindness made her want to open it and it did and now look where it's gotten them.
As they spent their time with one another at the university, the rhythm of and routine kept her from second guessing that this was anything more than friendship. And yet, when they're engrossed in their work, mentally straining themselves to reach newer heights of knowledge and scholarly vigor, at the end of the day, she appreciated and anticipated those smaller moments of rest they found with each other. It almost made her mind wander to "what if" until she immediately stamped out the idea.
Amelia didn't allow herself to think about "what if" with him because Gale was good, too good to her after everything.
She wraps her arms around herself and moves to the doorway that leads to the living room.]
I don't want to deal with whatever this is, not after you saw me like that.
[It keeps happening; she says she regrets hurting the people she cares for, but she's doing it right now. Obstinate, contradictory, stubborn—]
I'm sorry, but I don't have an answer to whatever you're asking—