[Who else could feasibly vouch for her? She's on good terms with everyone in her department, but that's just work. Yes, there are a few colleagues such as Blurg and Omeluum, but as friendly as she was with them, she respected their time too much to drag them into this situation. Professor Lens was genial, but they were just office-mates; Amelia, with some degree of shame (it keeps happening), realizes that she hasn't made any efforts to be more than professional towards her. Lens didn't owe her anything.
And really, neither does Dr. Dekarios.
His gentle insistence to be present during the meeting stirs something within her, a complex and conflicting mess of emotions that makes her purse her lips. The sheer kindness that he keeps giving Professor Steinbeck shouldn't be taken for granted and she almost had.
"I'm really happy that you like taking care of me... But you know, my parents and the doctors are in charge of that.
When I'm gone, think about how you can do the same care for yourself."
She wonders that if at some point, she had misconstrued his words to mean that she had to take care of herself. And lord, has she tried. She threw all her cards into literary academia, endured arguments with her mother over her choice in career, moved out of her childhood hometown, and saved every penny from her smaller jobs to survive and work her way up to her current position. Doing everything for herself, by herself helped to drown that white noise that made itself at home in the void within.
Had circumstances been different, Amelia would have fought Dr. Raphael over this scholarly misconduct by herself. She's not alone anymore though and it's not a fight she needs to do while ignoring her wounds.
Amelia looks at her unfinished lunch and then finally back at Gale. She takes a deep breath and nods at him.]
Thank you. For lunch and for... Well. Whatever tomorrow brings, I guess.
no subject
I wasn't thinking.
[Who else could feasibly vouch for her? She's on good terms with everyone in her department, but that's just work. Yes, there are a few colleagues such as Blurg and Omeluum, but as friendly as she was with them, she respected their time too much to drag them into this situation. Professor Lens was genial, but they were just office-mates; Amelia, with some degree of shame (it keeps happening), realizes that she hasn't made any efforts to be more than professional towards her. Lens didn't owe her anything.
And really, neither does Dr. Dekarios.
His gentle insistence to be present during the meeting stirs something within her, a complex and conflicting mess of emotions that makes her purse her lips. The sheer kindness that he keeps giving Professor Steinbeck shouldn't be taken for granted and she almost had.
She wonders that if at some point, she had misconstrued his words to mean that she had to take care of herself. And lord, has she tried. She threw all her cards into literary academia, endured arguments with her mother over her choice in career, moved out of her childhood hometown, and saved every penny from her smaller jobs to survive and work her way up to her current position. Doing everything for herself, by herself helped to drown that white noise that made itself at home in the void within.
Had circumstances been different, Amelia would have fought Dr. Raphael over this scholarly misconduct by herself. She's not alone anymore though and it's not a fight she needs to do while ignoring her wounds.
Amelia looks at her unfinished lunch and then finally back at Gale. She takes a deep breath and nods at him.]
Thank you. For lunch and for... Well. Whatever tomorrow brings, I guess.